Mom’s Blog

M.D. Anderson Cancer Center here in Houston is one of the world’s premier cancer hospitals.  We could trust they knew what they were doing.  But, when you see them hooking your child up to IV’s to basically fill his body with chemicals which are inevitably going to harm him I was moved to a barely controllable violent state (far from my normal state of being).  I wanted to hit someone, throw things, and scream - “get out” “leave him alone” “he’s done nothing to deserve this.” I wanted to beg them to plesae hook me up instead.  But I didn’t do any of these things, because these chemicals, i.e.poisons, are what give him the best chance for life - but what kind of life?  Fortunately, I am here to tell you that it is a very good life for Joey.  Granted when you first start researching and reading all the devastating side effect, the least of which is loosing one’s hair, you don’t see how your child will ever be “normal” again (which is a blog for another time). The chemo is strong and has a lot of side effects, but all in all they are short lived - 18 months to 2 years post treatment most will have abated. The key is how to get through the “event” - the sitting and watching them hooking your child up.  For me it was unequivocally the most out of control I have ever felt. So I got angry, sad, I paced, I cried while he slept, I held him while he got sick, I kept a record of every little thing I noticed, I cursed and ranted to God, and then I thanked God for giving me this child in the first place and providing the doctors and researchers who have the knowledge, skill and dedication to get us to a place (somewhat barbaric that it may be) where Joey would live to see his next birthday. So you do what you can do….. sit and watch.